New Year’s Resolutions

Happy New Year!

Today I’m hoping to channel the great Pam Ayres, whose new book, “You Made Me Late Again” had me chuckling over my Christmas stocking (thanks Dad!). I suspect I’m a couple of decades younger than the average PamFan – surely that has to be one word? – but I do love her folksy, homely verse, full of irritable cows, waggy-tailed dogs and anxiety over whether or not she’s left her curling tongs plugged in. So today I thought I’d celebrate the New Year with my own attempt at Pam-type verse on a subject that always occupies my thoughts at this time of year…

 

New Year’s Resolutions

 

Today is January the 1st,

The day this year I’m at my worst;

Because from henceforth I shall be

Improving incrementally

 

This year I’ll lose a stone or two,

Just like the Biggest Losers do

I’ll feel so fit and full of beans,

And slide into my skinny jeans

 

My swearing days are over now

Displeased, I’ll simply raise a brow

Uncouth expletives I’ll replace

With genteel words of tact and grace

 

My bills and papers I’ll keep neat

My handbag cleared of old receipts

Odd socks will once again be matched

Lost buttons found and reattached

 

Oh, I’ll be great by next December!

Problem is, though, I remember

Old ghosts of resolutions past

But this year, I’m quite sure they’ll last…