Something wicked this way comes

alarm clockOn this day in six weeks’ time I will be reintroducing myself to a sound I have learned to ignore over the last six and a half months: the garbled blaring of the radio alarm. No longer will I turn over with slight and fleeting sympathy as the Husband drags himself from his duvet nest and stumbles to the bathroom. From 3 March, I shall not ask for whom Capital FM tolls: it will toll for me.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a civil servant who looks forward to returning from leave is a Treasury tag short of a paper trail. That’s not me, dear reader, and after spending more than six months away from the daily grind, I have to conclude that I have missed the open-plan blandness not one teeny tiny iota.

I haven’t missed the erratic heating, nor the staticky blue carpet, nor the plasticky desks, nor the crap canteen, nor the cold, depressing reception area, nor the lackadaisical lifts with the scratches at the edges of the doors that give the uneasy impression they’ve had to be crowbarred open on more than one occasion.  I haven’t missed the sheer bone-numbing knackerdness of those mornings of untangling myself from the still-dozing cats, feeling as though it’s as much as I’m ever going to be able to do just to get myself vertical and it’s still only Wednesday.  And most of all, I haven’t missed that ever-present knot of anxiety, the stress of the current crisis, the foreboding about the next one, the corporate bollocks, the emails, emails, emails…

I could go on, but if I do I’ll have to throw myself out of the window.

Still, having failed to land my six figure publishing deal/ lottery win, there’s only one thing to do from here – back to the Rat Race I shall go. Ee aye ee aye ee aye sodding oh.

I think I can, I know I can, I think I can... oh God, I feel sick.

I think I can, I know I can, I think I can… oh God, I feel sick.

In the interests of avoiding the Slough of Despond, I have decided to take heed of the words of the great Monty Python and attempt to look on the Bright Side of Life. So with that in mind, here are twenty, ten, five, three reasons that going back to work will be A Good Thing.

1. We will have more money.  This is not to be sniffed at. The house needs various things doing to it. We found a roof tile in the front garden yesterday.  And we’ll be able to afford more exciting holidays.  Not a big deal for me at the moment – what do I need a break from? – but the poor Husband is stressed to the eyeballs and could do with more than a weekend on a freezing campsite.  Which brings me to…

2. I will appreciate holidays more.  The downside of not spending every day anxious/frustrated/depressed is not needing an escape from it!  Now I can recapture that blissful moment of shutting down the PC for the last time after a week of working even longer hours than usual to buy myself a break from the office.  Hurrah!

3.  I will have a renewed sense of urgency about my writing.  Book Two will gain new status as My Potential Way Out.  Okay, I won’t spend so much time on it.  This blog may have to hibernate (besides: what will I actually have to talk about when anything juicy will have to be censored?). I may not get along to so many readings/ book club meetings/ writing workshops.  But hey, that will just motivate me even more!

I’m sure there are other benefits too. I just have to find them.

Wish me luck.





17 thoughts on “Something wicked this way comes

  1. vicbriggs

    PS: I was just about to wish you the usual “break a leg” and then realised that unless you were returning to the stage, it may be the wrong side of luck 🙂 So: good luck!

    1. yakinamac Post author

      Thanks! And yes – that whole challenge/opportunity thing. I’m sure the experience will give me a wonderful chance to Grow As A Person.

  2. jackiemallon

    I feel your pain. I did a decidedly un-American thing and went on unemployment benefit to complete my first novel and it. was. bliss. I will never recapture the feeling of those blissful writing days stretching before me, never, I have come to terms with that. It still doesn’t make going to work now any less trying. Wish I had thought earlier about being a kept woman. Independence is not all it’s cracked up to be…oh, and good luck!

    1. yakinamac Post author

      Ah, I know just what you mean. I once had some demented idea that I could never be a kept woman. Ha! Rethinking that now, I can tell you.

  3. sueslaght

    Best of luck and do keep writing! Even if we hear from you less… do what you love. It’s important to put groceries on the table but important to be balanced with finding happiness.

    1. yakinamac Post author

      Thank you! Step 1 I think has to be to get as much as I possibly can out of the six weeks I have left. With that in mind, I’m off to a creative writing workshop this very minute!

    1. yakinamac Post author

      Thank you – here’s hoping. Perhaps one of these days a trip to Madagascar will be on the cards when income levels improve..!


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